cryptic messages of a supernova

eight hours later and i’m covered in cum while soaked in sweat. the ac is broken and my heart is on its last leg. we had a good run, but now its over. a two hour long conversation with K, disconnected chats with shots, and a date with an ellen page movie, but my mind keeps wondering back to you.

i love you. i lost myself in you. now i fear i’m losing you. i don’t want to lose you, but i’m pushing you away we’re migrating away from each other. and i’m hurting. i’m fuckin broken up inside and it hurts. i understand i’m not that guy. i could never be him but DAMN. there’s no way you can tell me that what i’m feeling now isn’t real. that there was never a point where you thought maybe we could have been what you and he are trying to be. there’s no way i can fuckin believe that. we were important once. now i feel we’re two wrong steps and a flat tire from being exiled.

but this is it. this is me putting it all out there. this is me letting go. this is me. this is big boy j speaking now in my serious voice. if you want to reply you know where to find me. write me an epic letter. send me a short fuck you. leave me a do you think my voice is sexy message. or just ignore this. pretend its not about you. that it was never about you. smashing pumpkins. killing myself to live. celibacy. naruto. just play dumb. but i’d rather you yell at me. give me a reaction. show me something.

show me you care. convince me we can be great again. convince me we can be what we were before. convince me we can be those pubic hair, rape me, beat me, cheap wal-mart wine drinking kids we once were and not the cryptic message messiahs we’ve become.

we were epic. now we’re just rage against the machines.

currently listening to Delicate by Damien Rice