the conversationalist pt. III

"roll over J"

"you roll over"

"this is my bed"

"i don't give a damn who bed this is zammy, now go cook me some grits. i'm hungry."

"....."

"damn, why does everyone ignore me when i tell them to go cook me some grits. do they not know i'm fuckin hungry."

"....."

"zammy, SPEAK nigga"

"roll over J"

"damn. fine. i'll move over, but see if i ever fall asleep in your bed listening to britney with you again."

"calm down J, this is a library."
-------------------

"dammit zammy! i'm hungry now, go cook me some grits. STAT. PRONTO. ASAP."

"how many times do i have to tell you J (says something in spanish which i assume is 'don't nobody know what grits is')" zammy says

"si seniorita" i reply

"forget it J, you ruined the mood."

"i done told you once i don't know no spanish, i speak portuguese. learn some portuguese and then we can hold a conversation. and on top of that i said i was HUNGRY now go cook me some fuckin grits WOMAN! i done been out here four cotton pickin' weeks and don't nobody cook fuckin grits. don't they know i get cranky when i don't eat. don't they know that a growing black man needs his daily dose of some grits. yal better figure this shit out or cali is in fuckin trouble."

"you done now?"

"yeah, i'm done. still hungry tho."
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"i like your accent J. u sound extra cuuuntry when you get mad though"

"and you sound hella mexican when you moanin my name"

"whatever J, last time i checked you were too busy chasing after some douche."

"he's a cunt. i'm the douche. but he's my number one bestie buddy who happens to be named cunt. baah."

"did you just make a sheep noise."

"sí, consiguió un problema(yeah, you got a problem with this)"
w
"seeeeee J, you do know some spanish. now stop grabbin my bag of tricks"

"oh, i thought that was your dick zammy. my b.

"its okay, next time just aim higher."

"there's a next time?"

"we'll see J, we'll see."